Eric and I love to read and so adopting is a great excuse to order more books. Here’s a list of books that we would suggest, not only for adopting, but for parenting in general. You can see what you think. Some of the books are specific to Guatemala and some are specific to Ethiopia. While some are specific to adoption. Pretty much all of them deal with kids. Check out book 22 first:
1) We’re Different, We’re the Same-Is put out by Sesame Street so you know it’s a winner. It’s a great kids book that teaches kids about the differences in all of us, but then reinforces how we are the same. Excellent book.
2) All the Colors of the Earth by Sheila Hamanaka-Great book for kids with wonderful illustrations. It celebrates the colors of children and the colors of love.
3) Attaching in Adoption by Deborah D. Gray-A must read for parents who are adopting. We brought Anna home at 7 months and think she attached really well. This book has been an eye-opener this time around in waking us up to the fact that this child is probably going to have attachment issues, either minor or major, due to what he has experienced. It gives a lot of helpful ideas as to what we can do to help our child as well as keep our sanity.
4) Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay & Charles Fay, PhD. We just went through a training on Love & Logic and then read the book. There are a lot of ideas here for children birth to six years old. We’re even trying some of the activities on Luke was turned six last December and they still work. His thing was letting burps ‘accidentally’ slip out at the table and it drove me nuts. Love and Logic says to try something like, “Oh, that’s a bummer, dinner is over because only children with good manners are welcome to eat dinner at our table.” And then you take away the child’s plate and dinner is indeed officially over. The authors believe that this is going to teach the child very quickly that the parents mean business and aren’t willing to go over and over this fact. They believe in exactly the opposite of what the 1-2-3 Magic philosophy is.
5) 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph. D. I love this book and we went to see the author who makes you believe in its strategies. We’ve used this on Luke and Anna for the past three years and now that we’ve gotten into Love and Logic we’ll be exploring weaning our kids off being counted.
6) Supernanny by Jo Frost-Okay, the Lockhart household watches almost zero t.v. , but Supernanny is taped and watched religiously. We LOVE Jo and she does an excellent job with her book. I just realized our household has become a Supernannny, 1-2-3, Love & Logic household. I’m sure there’s a psychologist out there somewhere scratching their head.
7) Guatemala in Pictures by Rita J. Markel-This book does a great job of giving facts regarding Guatemala but also giving beautiful photos of all aspects of the culture. Anna loves this book that we just leave out periodically so she and Luke can flip through it.
8) Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge-The title says it all. I find myself re-reading sections of this book a lot and will guess that will never stop. Excellent book.
9) The Girlfriends’ Guide to Toddlers by Vicki Iovine-Funny, funny book that helps with almost every area of raising a toddler.
10) Through Moon and Stars and Night Skies by Ann Turner. A beautiful book for children. It tells of the adoption trip home and getting accustomed to a new family from a child’s perspective.
11) How it Feels to be Adopted by Jill Krementz. Even though the book was written in 1982 the stories probably stay the same, but the faces change. Each chapter is dedicated to a different child who has been adopted under different conditions than the next. The kids talk about their feelings, frustrations and joys.
12) What Size Shoes Does She Wear? Adopting a Toddler by Denise Harris Hoppenhauer-A really good book that covers all of the basic questions one will have regarding what to do in areas such as changing your child’s name, clothing to pack for your pick-up trip, losing a referral.
13) I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla by Marguerite A. Wright. I love the title because the book states it teaches parents and educators of black and biracial children how to reduce racism’s impact on a child’s development-from preschool through adolescence-and in doing so to raise emotionally healthy children. What more could we as parents ask for?! I just finished this book and it’s fantastic, but not what I was expecting. For some reason I thought it would be about white parents adopting black or biracial children and help on raising those children. It’s actually for all parents, including black parents, raising black or biracial kids. I think it’s even a good read for white parents raising white children so they can learn how to understand other families from a variety of races and how their children, if exposed on more than a casual basis, will have a better attitude, acceptance and understanding of others. Great book!
14) Ethiopia, The Roof of Africa by Jane Kurtz. Even though the photos are dated, as is some of the information, this is a fantastic book. The author was born in Oregon but then spent many years in an Ethiopian village. It talks about the country of Ethiopia, its people and their life styles and culture. It’s as if you have an American tour guide giving the inside scoop on everything you really need to know about the country and its history.
15) Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss by Cluadia Jewett Jarratt. I haven’t started this one yet so I’ll let you know later what I think
16) Toddler Adoption by Mary Hopkins-Best. Great book on what you will probably experience when adopting a toddler (there’s different concerns than if it were an infant) and helpful strategies. It doesn’t sugarcoat some of the major areas of concern.
17) Only a Pigeon by Jane and Christopher Kurtz. Beautiful book for children telling the story of a boy who lives in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and raises pigeons. He has a special connection to them and not only feeds them, but stays close at night to protect them, as best possible, from cats and mongoose.
18) There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. Just bought this one and will let you know.
19) Notes from the Hyena’s Belly by Nega Mezlekia. This is not only a hard book to read, it’s also very hard to put down. The hardest part about this book was coming to grips with the realization that the writer experienced everything in the book during our day and age. He writes about the wars and famines that have ravaged Ethiopia and how he and his family struggled to survive. It doesn’t sugarcoat the brutality that citizens were exposed to in their schools, on city streets, or anywhere they might visit. A compelling book that will reaffirm how lucky you are to live where you live.
20) In the Small, Small Night by Jane Kurtz. Fantastic book for kids and parents. Written about two children who have been adopted and moved to the United States. It talks about their fears and what helped them. It also gives a beautiful testament to the strong family bond. Luke and Anna both give this a thumbs-up. Beautiful illustrations too.
21) Real Parents, Real Children by Holly vanGulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb. A must-read for anyone thinking about adopting or for those that have already adopted.
22) Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker, MD-I shouldn’t have left this book until last. This is Eric’s favorite book in the world. I had to read it because Eric kept saying, “Yep, I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing with Anna and I’m the most important person influencing her future.” His other favorite line is, “Daddy does it different.” This book gave him the backup ammunition when I would say, “Honey, you probably shouldn’t _________________ with the kids.” Fill in the blank. That could be anything from drag them around the house by one arm playing “I’m the mean monster and I’m taking you to my castle” to letting Luke run, jump and land on Eric while he was laying on the floor unaware of what was about to happen. This has since ended now that Luke could put Eric in the hospital. We’ve decided that our kids are lucky because they have parents that have such different approaches to life. I’m ultra cautious and Eric isn’t always. I want to sit with the kids and read, color or do crafts and Eric wants to do highly physical activities. Bottom line is our kids benefit from our diversity. I’m still waiting for the book that is titled, “Strong Mother, Strong Son” so I can even the playing field.